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What's on my mind?


Do you all know what it means?

It is in simple words means "you are not as human as I am because you do not possess the qualities the society has somehow come to instill upon all of us."

It is looking and treating someone as if they do not have the mental abilities as the rest of the population.

Wanna know a secret?

We all do it. That friend who suddenly we don't agree with, we pick on her some flaw and make her less. Dehumanization goes hand in hand with hatred. It is what helps us, yes including me, to do the horrible things we do to each other. It is what makes us capable of saying no to someone who is asking for help hanging onto a thread of life.

You might think, so what! I am not doing it. But it is around us. You or I not doing it is not enough. Stepping in when you see it being done is what we need right now.

Could you imagine your child being a victim of this? He or she decides to give up living because they no longer feel human?

Pain, grief, sadness, depression, hurt, rape, all are real. You can close your eyes and walk by. But, let me tell you. None of us are immune from any of it. You might get a pass today, tomorrow you might not be so lucky. You might be the one who is pinned down against your will.

Let's start thinking about why we are capable of doing such acts. Then, next time you see or hear something, say something, do something.

I texted 5 people today. It was a one-liner.

"I am having very strong suicidal thoughts."

Hold your judgments for just one second. I have always spoken up about my depression. It got triggered by events of Feb. Instead of my normal routine of being able to bounce back out of it, this time it keeps getting worse. I know why it was getting worse. I know I have a long and hard path ahead of me to heal myself and recover.

Out of the five, 2 responded immediately. One insisted I get outside into the sun. He did not give up. He made me leave my laptop, and get out into the sun. When you are in these moments, you don't really want to die. But you want the pain to stop. The pain from humiliation, ridicule, guilt, dehumanization. You just want the pain to stop for a bit.

So back to what I started with.

Do me a favor, watch your own actions. If you could catch it, you could change it. That might mean life or death for someone else.

My moments have passed. And I am determined to crawl out of the ditch I got myself into. But even the strongest of us need a hand of help at times. It gets pretty tiring in this place.

The best way to change the world is to observe ourselves and try to change. May I take the audacity to wish that it begin with no longer being a bystander to someone's pain.

Rumi is one of my favorite poets of all time. In so few words, he describes volumes and volumes of wisdom.



Ps: I always wanted to punch the nose of the person who said the sentence "you like playing the victim" because he figured out that its one of my trigger words. Too bad that I no longer believe in violence.


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