Self-set Standards of Motherhood


Motherhood... I spent years of my twenties trying to become a mom. At one point I was not able to see anything past that having a baby. Four years later I have two beautiful kids..... Along with motherhood came a lot of expectations of myself. My own expectations. The bar set based on what I saw growing up, by culture, by society, by tv, by everything. I had, still have this image of how a mom should be.

I have had a tough time balancing every aspect of life along with motherhood. I spent years trying to have a child. When looking around- even though we see the outsides- everyone seems to get the hang of this mom thing.

Me, most of the time I am winging in the dark. Sometimes I even think that I must be missing the mom gene. I must be, that must be the explanation of how I miserably fail to be a good mom.....

I am very far away from my set image of what a good mother should be. It's picture perfect. Super mom. I beat myself up for not being able to measure up to it. I have spent last five years feeling like this. Never going to bed thinking I did well today.

Now, how silly is that????? We are all different. We are unique in our ways. So our ways are unique too. There is no one set standards of how to be a mother. Stay at home, working mom, super mom, whatever works for you, keeps you and your family healthy and happy should be the standard. I am trying to consciously teach myself to lower the bar. Take one day at a time. Worry less. There are moments when I want to scream into a pillow. But then there are more moments that make me smile long after they are gone. Fill my heart with love and warmth.

Motherhood should not have to be hard. Figure out what works for you, rest keep your fingers crossed :D.

Saj

ps: This post, I wrote on 2014. I am reposting it as it is very very relevant today.

#motherhood #selfsetstandards #standingup

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Sajatha Jaffer  |  sajatha.jaffer@gmail.com

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