Slept through three alarms as you have sleep issues,
Woke up in a hurry trying to get to school drop off in time,
Its raining cats and dogs,
Get snacks packed,
Kids are ready,
Drive to school that takes twice as long as traffic is bad,
Dinner, bath, and playtime,
Husband needs to run an errand,
You get a bite to eat while tending to different needs of children,
Finally, bedtime for kids rolls around and you get them to sleep,
You come out and time is already close to 10 pm,
You are in shabby pjs and so is he,
You look at each other and sit down on the sofa looking at each other,
Oh did I mention I have been telling him that we are going to roll around at night throughout the day?
You sit down and look at each other and the last thing on either of your mind is sex.
In the rush of middle life with young children, we often put our partners and ourselves last on the list. You are tired and it has been a long day. Sex seems like a chore at that point.
But let me tell you: It is not. It is a necessity. It is a necessary essential to keep your life going. Human beings are wired to feel connected. Intimacy is not just emotional, the physical act of intimacy, however short it is an integral part of building and maintaining emotional intimacy.
My husband and I have had failed relationships. This marriage and building a blended family together is a second chance for us. In our first relationships what went wrong was the lack of connection. It fizzled with a lack of sexual intimacy. Physical touch. Togetherness.
During the act of sex, we share body warmth, skin to skin touch, intuitive connection. It is an essential way of saying through it all I am there with you.
Sex, physical intimacy is important. I come from a culture where we do not talk about it, do not even acknowledge the existence or importance of it.
As a mom of three, as a woman in her late thirties, as a human being, I am saying it out loud. Sex with your spouse is an integral part of building a family together. The few minutes you ruffle the sheets together is a building block to the foundation of a marriage.
There are no golden standards. Whatever works for you is your normal. But make sure to get some dedicated time with your spouse.
Now go get crappy pjs on and ask your spouse to cuddle.