• Saj

On Top Of The World; Is An Apology Enough?


On Top Of The World; Is An Apology Enough?

"You have won the universe, and you are on top of the world. I did apologize to you multiple times. I am not willing to continue this conversation."

Have I won the universe? If I have, I have missed that news. I have missed the ceremony where they award the medal and whatever goes with it.

Am I on top of the world? If I am, let me tell you this. The view up here, it sucks.

Smiles. Smiles we hold are sometimes deceiving, isn't it? There are two kinds of people that I often come across. Ones who see the outside and ones who see the inside.

Today, as I woke up early morning. I thought that I am no longer daydreaming. I am so caught up trying to survive and keep afloat that I have let go of day dreaming. The beautiful, imaginative worlds I am so fond of building inside my head, I miss them now. I wrote down on my to-do list to set aside a piece of time today to do just that. To Daydream. Possibly something outrageously crazy.

That is the difference. I do not give up. And if that makes me on top of the world and if that makes me win the universe, then I accept that reward ever so gratefully. Because, honestly, anyone who can go through all this and appear to have been on top of the world deserves it.

In reality, ok I am being truthful here, it is not easy. Half the time I feel I am on the floor. Struggling, screaming and hurting. But blaming someone else, or something else or giving into the darkness is something I do not want to do.

I do not have any help to offer. Why should I? We all are responsible for our own lives. And, oh yes, the request. Sometimes it takes a few times to see the true colors of someone. Isn't it?

If you destroy someone's trust and faith,

if you destroy another's mind,

if you destroy another human being's ability to live and love,

is an apology enough?

Is a "sorry" enough?

It was never rejection that threw me off.

It was the betrayal.

It was always the betrayal.

It is and will always be the betrayal. And no.

When you have used another human being ruthlessly and betrayed them in every possible way, no amount of apology is enough.

-Me


#Memoir

0 views

Sajatha Jaffer  |  sajatha.jaffer@gmail.com

Copyright © 2019 sajatha, All Rights Reserved.