Dream. Then Chase The Dream. Become A Doer. Find Your Identity.
When my son, one of my greatest teacher, was born he brought me my identity. No, not motherhood. He brought me my identity.
I held him for the first time and we had this conversation. Him, universe and me.
A pretty long one.
And I made him a promise.
"I will not be a hypocrite. "
6 words that rolled out of my life. I did not understand the significance of what I said then. It took e another 6 years to understand the depth of it fully.
It is a practice that is very hard to keep up to. This involves a lot of self-awareness, asking why you do what you do. Accepting your flaws and be willing to change them. Accepting that you are insignificant in this universe. Accepting that you do not have control over a lot of things in this life. Accepting failures. Accepting life as it is.
It is hard work. But nothing in this life I have felt as rewarding as this one.
I came to learn that my identity has parts more than motherhood. And embracing that was difficult as we are in a society that dictates mothers to be certain way.
I am reading two books simultaneously now. A year of yes by Shonda Rhymes You Are A Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero.
My favorite line so far out of the first one is "Leave No Mom Behind". She talks about mommy wars. And if you are a mom, you would understand this.
My favorite so far out of second (I started this as of today, so not too far in yet) "Imagine what you can do for others if you have enough money."
So I thought of writing this today. I am not ashamed of who I am anymore. With my good and my bad. Things I feel I can improve, I improve. I have no illusion of me being perfect.
In fact, I always joke saying that there is a cell in hell with my name on it and I have a jet fueled and ready to go when time comes.
Jokes aside, I am learning about myself through my experiences. And I learn from everything and everyone. It's what I love about life the most. The beautiful lessons. Those moments where you get that tiny flicker of the joy of learning something new.
My biggest motivation to get up every day (except days when I want to hide from the world as my introvert self becomes dominant) is to look forward to learning something new.
Own your mistakes and flaws. It will help you shine your good. Be real
I hope if you have had the patience to read this, you take a minute to think what your identity is. If you have never thought of it, maybe it is time you think of it. Then polish it, improve it, become who you dream to be.
Ps: I am a dreamer. And I always say "You must dream." When I say that what is hidden and implied is that, you also need to chase your dream by becoming a doer. Dreams are worthless if you do not chase them and become a doer.