• Saj

Story of 15 days of misery, An End and A Beginning


She opened a random page of her journal and there it was, an entry from her past, staring back at her, showing all the bitterness and pain she had experienced. She read through it, pausing every few words and closing her eyes after a few seconds and continue to read. It was the beginning of the end of who she was and beginning of the journey that will make her who she is now. "Today is the 15th day. It has been a very difficult time. It all started with a simple text message and then to phone calls to emails to more. By the end of the first day she knew, she knew who he was. She knew what he can and cannot do. She knew who he was and what she believed about him was all wrong. She knew the lies and knew that he was going to sacrifice her and history was going to repeat itself. She was ready to walk away, but do one last thing he asked. But she was not fortunate enough to have it that simple, the surprise that was waiting for her was not that small. In-fact it was so big that she was completely shaken by the mere appearance of it, she was not able to breathe or function for a long time.

Names were called, accusations were made, and she was not able to understand any of it. She only had one question in her mind. Why? Why was this happening and why was this being done? The more she tried to solve it, it got tighter and tighter. There were moments of clarity when she tried her best to let it go. Tears were rolling through cheeks that didn't know that she could cry. She was not able to bear the pain that was exhibiting inside her heart.

Oh... don't be mistaken it for a heartbreak. She could care less about it as the break up was done long ago. But the betrayal of trust, it was unbearable. See, she didn't think human beings can do that... Above all, she didn't think he could do that, she didn't think he would become one of those who she despised all her life. All he needed was to say one sentence to her, he didn't have to destroy her to mend his broken world.

You see, she thought she knew him. She was worried about him. Even in the middle of chaos, she was the crusader who was protecting the man she loved..... But oh boy! She was wrong. He was fine, he knew to play. And she did not see it coming. Foolish woman... But, you see life is beautiful in it's own way. There is justice that the universe performs to balance elements of its beloveds. She knows now why she went through this and that this had been the final touch on her death of who she was. At the end of 15 days, seeing the masks had fallen and being terrified of you, she can see clearly now. Whatever he had named her, or called her or threatened her with, had made her strong. He got her through her vulnerability, it is true. But she is strong because of her honesty and authenticity and love for life. "

Life is full of lessons, its beautiful and challenging. And she was never wanting to be a breeze.

Let there be no more tears in her eye for him as he had lost the right by punching the numbers


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Saj

#Memoir #Grief

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Sajatha Jaffer  |  sajatha.jaffer@gmail.com

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